Why Failure Is Relative
Why Failure Is Relative
This was a conversation me and my friend had at the gym, and it stuck with me.
We were talking about failure, and how weird it is.
In the gym, failing is literally the point. You try to lift, you fail, you try again. Maybe with less weight, maybe with better form. And there’s no ego attached to it. You just failed a set. You’ll try again next week.
But in life? Man, failure hits different.
The Gym vs Life
You mess up one presentation, one exam, one project - and suddenly you feel like you’re just bad at everything. Like that one thing defines you.
Which makes zero sense, honestly.
Here’s what I think is happening:
When we fail at the gym, we have context. We know this is a process. We’ve failed hundreds of times before. We’re gonna fail hundreds more. It’s part of it.
But when we fail in real life, we don’t have that context. We somehow expect to be good at things we’ve never done before. And when we’re not? We feel bad about ourselves.
It’s kinda funny when you think about it.
Nobody expects to deadlift 100kg on day one. But everyone expects to be good at their job on day one.
The Irony
I remember my first week as a developer. I couldn’t figure out why my code wasn’t working. Spent 3 hours debugging.
Turns out I was missing a semicolon.
I felt like I was terrible at coding. Like maybe I shouldn’t be doing this.
Meanwhile, my friend at the gym failed to bench press 60kg that same day. His response? “Cool, let me try 55kg.”
Why is it so different?
The Mindset Shift
Failure is just feedback. That’s it. You’re just learning what doesn’t work yet.
The gym has always understood this. Life should too.
Some Examples
Learning to code? You’re gonna break things. You’re gonna get errors you don’t understand. That’s not failure - that’s learning.
First job? You’re gonna mess up. Send that email to the wrong person. Break production (we’ve all been there). It’s data, not destiny.
Building something? Your first version will probably suck. Razr’s first version was embarrassing. But we shipped it anyway.
The Real Issue
We treat failure in life like it’s permanent. Like it says something about who we are.
But failure in the gym? That’s temporary. That’s just “not yet.”
Why can’t we view life the same way?
Failure isn’t a character flaw. It’s just data.
So What Do We Do?
Maybe we need to bring gym mentality to life:
- Expect to fail - it’s part of the process, not a deviation from it
- Fail fast - get the “not working” out of the way quickly
- Adjust and retry - less weight, better form, different approach
- No ego - failing a set doesn’t make you weak; failing a project doesn’t make you incompetent
The Wrap Up
So yeah, fail fast, fail often, fail forward.
Also - failure isn’t a character flaw. It’s just data.
And the next time you mess up that presentation or break production or miss a deadline?
Remember: you’re just failing a set. You’ll try again next week.
And you’ll be stronger for it.